BLT Sandwich, egg and arbitration optional


BLT with egg. Heaven.

Scene from a marriage.

Wife offers to make a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich for her husband’s lunch. He’s just back from a four-mile run and is on his way to the shower.

Husband: Sure!

Wife: Do you want an egg on yours? It’s really good!

Husband: No, thanks. (Heads to shower.)

She cooks two 3-minute eggs for her sandwich and seasons them with salt and pepper. The bacon is warm from the skillet, and the lettuce leaves have been rinsed and dried. The tomato is from a nearby produce stand. This is fine dining at its best.

He returns, cleaned up and dressed back in a suit to return to his office. He hears the toaster ding.

Husband: Let that bread be yours. I don’t want mine toasted.

Wife: Okay. Do you want this (artisanal, locally made) sesame sunflower seed bread?

Husband: No, I want normal bread. (Gets a loaf of mass-produced, brand-name bread from the pantry.)

Wife (pondering the meaning of normal bread): Okay… Do you want Hellmann’s mayo? (She spreads her toasted bread with a thin layer.)

Husband: No. (Gets the yucky Miracle Whip from the fridge and spreads his cold bread with a thick layer.)

We They silently apply bacon and lettuce to their individual sandwiches.

Husband: Thanks for the sandwich!

Can this marriage be saved?

♦ ♦ ♦

A 3-minute fried egg has a solid white surrounding a partially set, partially runny yolk. It’s perfect for a sandwich or salad, as well as on its own at breakfast with toast. (The term “fried” here is misleading. This egg is no more fried than a soft-boiled egg is boiled, but it’s what a raw egg that is cooked by being dropped into a hot skillet is commonly called.) How to make it: Lightly coat a non-stick skillet with cooking spray. If you like a thick white to surround the yolk, get a set of egg rings at a cooking store, or cut the bottom and top out of a clean (empty) tuna can. Coat the inside of the ring or can with cooking spray, too. Place the pan over medium-low heat for a couple of minutes, then place the ring in the center of the pan and drop in a large raw egg. Cover the pan with a lid and let cook for 3 minutes. (Cook for 2 1/2 minutes for a very runny yolk or 3 1/2 minutes for a solid yolk.) Remove the lid, lift the ring gently off the egg with tongs, and season the egg with salt and pepper to taste. Transfer the egg to your sandwich, salad, or other destiny.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s